Two summers in and we’re back to where we started with the disappointing final years of Channel Nine’s coverage. Can Seven and Fox Sports right the ship before it’s nothing but noise?
After over 40 years, the mercy killing that was the end of Channel Nine’s cricket coverage arrived in April last year when Cricket Australia announced that they had signed a six year broadcast deal with Channel 7 and Fox Sports.
Two summers in and the galaxy of former stars that Fox and Seven continue to bombard us with — Ricky Ponting, Adam Gilchrist, Shane Warne, Damian Fleming, Brett Lee, Michael Hussey, Elyse Perry and Glenn McGrath to name a few — has mostly continued the sad last few years of Nine’s moribund broadcast. Grating, uninteresting and, most blasphemous — boring. This was not the kind of imitation they were after, nor is it encouraging that often times it sounds like the offal of a group of lads a few tables down at the pub talking a lot with very little to say.
Australia crushed Pakistan in the recent two test series — the visitors unable to get 10 wickets in an innings once. The commentary didn’t fare any better. Now, I could wallow in the hopelessness of it all as Warne goes off about Supercoach to the interest of no one else in the booth, or Mark Waugh attempts a joke that doesn’t have a set up, any sense of timing or delivery — or a punchline — but optimism is a stubborn beast. Instead, let’s attempt a non-exhaustive outline on what could possibly be done to fix it. Or at least point it in the right direction. Granted, I doubt the two networks will heed my advice before the start of a genuinely salivating three test series against New Zealand but that’s not going to stop me.
Some of it will be obvious, some of it will be esoteric, some of it might be a little petty (Some of it will definitely be petty). I make no apologies.
Stop using a player’s full name every time
Like comedy, it’s all about the delivery. To narrow it down, the repeated uttering of each players full name every time by a commentator is redundant and grating. It infers a lack of familiarity and an arrhythmic process (I told you it was going to be esoteric). The sentences aren’t able to flow, the syllables bunch up, and a rushness seeps in. Whenever they say Mitchell Starc or Steve Smith or Josh Hazlewood it’s like a clunky windmill perpetually shattering. It comes across like they’re reading from a poorly written script rather than articulating their own observations. It’s a simple exercise in play calling, but reverting to using last names is a good place to start.
Reduce each rotation to two commentators
This is a no brainer. With three commentators you have each of them jostling for air time, or two dominating while the other is left twiddling their thumbs (even worse since they all sit in chairs with nothing in front of them during the call. Everyone looks unsure how to sit or where to put their hands). But with two, there’s room to breathe. The natural rhythms of the game and the commentators can be gently nudged to the fore. It gives them the chance to develop partnerships and chemistry. And with it comes genuine self-deprecation and an understanding that they are not above the game. Billy Birmingham made an entire career out of it!
The current crop have a stupendous lack of self awareness with what they say and how they say it, leading to dull and uninteresting conversations, rushed analysis and an anxiety ridden desire to react to every single thing that happens. With two commentators you provide space for thought, and release the pressure on the callers to take over the game.
Not every ex-player makes for a good commentator
Commentating any sport is ridiculously hard. Cricket is one of the most difficult, and not everyone is cut out for it. One has to pick up on the subtle shifts in the flow of the game while knowing when to insert one’s own signature hook or flair. To understand statistics and framing the game at both a micro and macro level, and to tap into the atmosphere of the ground. In a way, a commentator has to be a wonderful improvisor.
At the moment, across both Seven and Fox, most of the commentators and commentary has been like listening to clones (Let it be noted that this doesn’t include any of the international guest commentators like Ramiz Raja or Wasim Akram — both who have a great amount of experience and nuance in the profession). There’s too much happening, and nothing much is being added.
The networks should focus on identifying people who have a knack for it, who understand the multiple gears one must have at their disposal to call a match. Ones who understand that a T20 match operates at a completely different level to a Test match. That if an anecdote is to be told, then to let that anecdote be told without constant disruption. Ones that develop a distinctive tone and delivery. Richie Benaud, Tony Greig et al were legendary because of how they called the game — idiosyncratic, unique, idiotic, a litle chaotic, a masterful wit in Benaud’s case. I’m not demanding any of this new crop to reach that standard, but having commentators that are engaging without being overbearing amplifies the broadcast atmosphere.
We’re not watching for the commentators
Don’t force the game. We’re not here for you, prospective commentator. You are complementary to the contest, an observer employed to give voice to the moments that change the course of an over, a session, an innings, a match or a series. Or to help it simmer comfortably when there is a lull in action. You provide the colour and the depth. You are the soft summer wind personified. Do not tarry trying to beat the game in front of you. You do not have to talk ALL THE TIME.
That being said, it could be a symptom of a larger issue when it comes to keeping an audience engaged. Our short attention spans don’t allow much room for flexibility and quiet moments. Not everything delivery is going to be momentous but the networks fear that if it’s not, we’ll just switch to Netflix or Disney+.
The product on the field has been at a crossroads for some time. Domestically, while the Big Bash League has proven popular both with crowd numbers and television ratings, the Test format has found itself occupying an uncomfortable middle ground. Lacklustre competition (apart from India and England), pitches that offer nothing more than average boosters, and ticket, food and drink prices that continue to skyrocket. And this from someone who still adores the format and believes that it still towers above ODI’s and T20’s. It’s a balancing act to increase viewership and interest across all formats, most importantly test cricket.
Shane Warne must stop attempting to be funny
Or, god forbid, witty. Yes, this is petty. But the greatest bowler of all time, the one I would choose above anyone else to take a wicket if my life depended on it, needs to have his commentary time severely reduced. When he just focuses on the game he is passable if somewhat repetitive. His closeness to the game rears its head and he can’t help but get agitated with calls, fielding decisions or bowling changes. When he’s trying to talk about anything else…it is just the worst noise. Also an addendum to this since he’s a major culprit — disallow the use of unimaginative nicknames of commentators and players alike.
Keep James Brayshaw a million miles away from it all
This is less of a suggestion and more of a public health and safety announcement. Brayshaw is an abomination. A boy’s club action figure made real that has his finger in every pie, poisoning each in the process. And someone who poisons sweet, sweet pie deserves the wrath of a million suns.
And for the good of his mental health, get Mark Howard out of the booth and into the crowd. You know that sound of silence meme? That’s Howard every time they cut to the booth and he has to deal with Warne. The yawning chasm of oblivion looks to swallow him up every time.
Give it time, Nick
I have to remind myself this incredibly early days. A good portion of the lineup have barely been behind the mic, and they follow in the footsteps of giants. It would be a daunting task for anyone. Patience, then, is paramount. It will not happen overnight. It might not coalesce for a few years, but a fresh start was required, and Seven and Fox are in an unprecedented position to take the summer pastime into a brave new world.
It doesn’t mean that the criticism isn’t warranted but some context is appropriate. There’s some encouraging signs already. Hussey is like a pig in mud when he’s breaking down a batman’s swing or bowler’s line and length with swanky new tech that Tony Greig could only dream of, while Ponting is gradually finding his footing as an analytical caller. His vision and anticipation of the game verges on the obsessional. Isa Guha is a solid find, as is Michael Vaughn, and Kerry O’Keefe has a few good tales to weave left in him. So it’s not all despair. But a major effort is still required to strike the right balance of insightful, engaging and entertaining. That won’t come easy, and I hope both networks understand that — much like the national team — near enough is simply not good enough.
Swish Collective 